You’re Fucking Kidding Me.

January 10, 2011 at 2:42 am Leave a comment

Well, where to begin? I just found out I’m pregnant a few days ago. Big, BIG shock, as we (my boyfriend of 9 years and I) weren’t planning it. But after a few days of letting the news sink in, we’re both actually pretty stoked. At least, we are at this very moment in time. Things change quickly when this sort of thing takes you by surprise.

I’m about 5 and a half weeks along, so it’s still early. Apparently the limbs have sprouted, but it looks a lot like a tadpole still. Weird! To be honest, I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing. I wasn’t one of those women who had this idea in her mind about how the process would go. Birth plan? WTF is that? My plan, is to give birth to the little succubus (I mean, blessing) after nine months. Call me crazy, but I haven’t given it much more thought than that.

I’m told there is more to it, but I’m trying to keep things simple for now.

My first move, besides research health care insurance options (more on my unending irresponsibility later), was to pick up some of those fancy prenatal vitamins. I hear they’re important, I dunno. Being vegan, people tend to ask me a lot of stupid questions like, “Where do you get your protein?” and so on. This time I was asking the questions. Why do I need folic acid so badly? Is not eating meat and dairy going to fuck the baby up? The general population of meat-eating people out there probably have something to say about that, but I know I can have a perfectly healthy baby on a vegan diet.

After my boyfriend and I marvelled at all the prenatal vitamin options at Whole Foods for a good 20 minutes, we decided on the most expensive fucking option they had. Not on purpose, but because they looked the most awesome. We picked Vitamin Code Raw Prenatal vitamins. A month’s supply for 34.99. Ouch. But they have all this cool shit in them, including a raw fruit and vegetable blend, and a raw organic sprout blend. Jesus, I sound like such a hippie.

More to come on this epic journey. And who knows, maybe I’ll be less sarcastic and more motherly sounding as time goes on. Maybe.

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Entry filed under: pregnancy, vegan, vegan pregnancy.

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